Puzzle me sweetly
I'm searching for the key
Lonely furrows are the seams of my brow
Puzzle me neatly
The truth hidden in a smile
Showing posts with label poem. Show all posts
Showing posts with label poem. Show all posts
Sunday, April 2, 2017
Saturday, April 1, 2017
My stolen grandmother
She sat in the sunshine gazing across the yard into her past. She spoke of her memories as though they happened today. But she does not recognize my face.
Wednesday, March 9, 2016
Ghost of a Whisper
I put a picture in my mind,
the one I loved so, you by the window blind.
When I see it I try to remember that that beautiful smile and love in your eyes was never mine,
not mine.
It was her -you were looking at, not me,
not ME.
Another picture.
It's you and her standing before the forest in the snow.
Look closely, your arms holding her tenderly, and I remember that your arms never held me,
no not me.
Those pictures are in my mind now.
I am trying to hold on to them and keep them in front of me now.
I tell myself that you are there in your flat with her, not me, not with me.
Do you understand?...
I will never hurt you...
When you came back that night to ask me not to hurt her,
I knew then that you don't know me,
not me.
This is my farewell, my last love letter to you.
I know you won't read it, and I'm glad
'Cause I don't ever want to feel that I have betrayed you. (Like her)
Of course you don't know me, we're only strangers who met by chance.
I'll go back to my life.
I won't wake from dreams of you in the mornings, hoping to see your face.
I won't sit for hours, hoping for a glimpse of you.
I won't wear my purple sweater, just to hear you ask me- I hate that sweater!
I will not linger over your memory, or think of you in the shower.
I will not imagine your arms around me as I sleep.
I will not hope for you, I will not,
not me.
You will become as a ghost to me,
a whisper of a dream I never had.
Do you understand?.....
Just a whisper of a dream I never had
A ghost of a whisper of a dream I never had
the one I loved so, you by the window blind.
When I see it I try to remember that that beautiful smile and love in your eyes was never mine,
not mine.
It was her -you were looking at, not me,
not ME.
Another picture.
It's you and her standing before the forest in the snow.
Look closely, your arms holding her tenderly, and I remember that your arms never held me,
no not me.
Those pictures are in my mind now.
I am trying to hold on to them and keep them in front of me now.
I tell myself that you are there in your flat with her, not me, not with me.
Do you understand?...
I will never hurt you...
When you came back that night to ask me not to hurt her,
I knew then that you don't know me,
not me.
This is my farewell, my last love letter to you.
I know you won't read it, and I'm glad
'Cause I don't ever want to feel that I have betrayed you. (Like her)
Of course you don't know me, we're only strangers who met by chance.
I'll go back to my life.
I won't wake from dreams of you in the mornings, hoping to see your face.
I won't sit for hours, hoping for a glimpse of you.
I won't wear my purple sweater, just to hear you ask me- I hate that sweater!
I will not linger over your memory, or think of you in the shower.
I will not imagine your arms around me as I sleep.
I will not hope for you, I will not,
not me.
You will become as a ghost to me,
a whisper of a dream I never had.
Do you understand?.....
Just a whisper of a dream I never had
A ghost of a whisper of a dream I never had
Tuesday, March 1, 2016
Own it
Stand in front of a mirror
Look at your face
Look at your body
Realize that body has endured
That face has seen it all
Look into your eyes
What do you see there?
There is sadness, yes
But there is more
Kindness, compassion...
You see wisdom and also pain
You see love
Touch that scar you see there
Run your finger over it
Remember how it got there
Your body has seen you through
Even when you abused it
When you let it go and ignored it
You treated it as if it was at fault
It's your body so own it
Your body is there for you always
It deserves your respect
You won't get another
Look into the mirror and say
I love you
You earned it.
~Victoria Stewart Meyers
Look at your face
Look at your body
Realize that body has endured
That face has seen it all
Look into your eyes
What do you see there?
There is sadness, yes
But there is more
Kindness, compassion...
You see wisdom and also pain
You see love
Touch that scar you see there
Run your finger over it
Remember how it got there
Your body has seen you through
Even when you abused it
When you let it go and ignored it
You treated it as if it was at fault
It's your body so own it
Your body is there for you always
It deserves your respect
You won't get another
Look into the mirror and say
I love you
You earned it.
~Victoria Stewart Meyers
Tuesday, February 16, 2016
This Isn't About Me
Today I was a witness to domestic violence
On my college campus
As I trudged up the hill to get a quick bite
After a tough class and before my next
When suddenly there was a shout and a bang, and a screech of tires
I tried to see into the car but the sun was in my eyes
And the cold weather had everyone buttoned up tight
In sweaters and jackets and hats
I couldn't get a look at the guy
I did see the grim look of fear and embarrassment
In the eyes of the girl
As she bravely set her jaw and stood her ground under his threatening
Intimidation
His body actually arced over top of hers in the driver’s seat
As if he intended to climb right out the window over top of her
His clenched fist under her chin
Just as suddenly he jumped out of the passenger door
The door on my side
As I stood and watched I tried to make eye contact with her
I could see her pretty brown hair
Her eyes were already brimming with the tears
She would try but would not be able to hold them back
Even as she drove away
Safe for now
She averted her gaze from me and I knew why
I thought to try again to see the guy
He was already pretty far away
I wanted to follow him, chase him down
I wanted to look him in his eyes and let him know that
I - will- take- him – on
But he was already halfway up the hill
I knew better and now they both were gone
I never even got a look at his face
All that was left was me
Standing in the cold sunshine
Of a now darkened day
Shaking in rage and helplessness
In hopelessness
Wishing I could chase down that girl
Wishing I could chase down that guy
Knowing I couldn't do either one
As I finally turned to walk to the student center
A tear slipped down my cheek
In frustration and mourning
The sidewalk filled with students again
Walking toward me and past
And as I looked into each one’s eyes
I saw no glimmer of recognition
Of what had taken place here today
And my heart broke
But this is not about me
On my college campus
As I trudged up the hill to get a quick bite
After a tough class and before my next
When suddenly there was a shout and a bang, and a screech of tires
I tried to see into the car but the sun was in my eyes
And the cold weather had everyone buttoned up tight
In sweaters and jackets and hats
I couldn't get a look at the guy
I did see the grim look of fear and embarrassment
In the eyes of the girl
As she bravely set her jaw and stood her ground under his threatening
Intimidation
His body actually arced over top of hers in the driver’s seat
As if he intended to climb right out the window over top of her
His clenched fist under her chin
Just as suddenly he jumped out of the passenger door
The door on my side
As I stood and watched I tried to make eye contact with her
I could see her pretty brown hair
Her eyes were already brimming with the tears
She would try but would not be able to hold them back
Even as she drove away
Safe for now
She averted her gaze from me and I knew why
I thought to try again to see the guy
He was already pretty far away
I wanted to follow him, chase him down
I wanted to look him in his eyes and let him know that
I - will- take- him – on
But he was already halfway up the hill
I knew better and now they both were gone
I never even got a look at his face
All that was left was me
Standing in the cold sunshine
Of a now darkened day
Shaking in rage and helplessness
In hopelessness
Wishing I could chase down that girl
Wishing I could chase down that guy
Knowing I couldn't do either one
As I finally turned to walk to the student center
A tear slipped down my cheek
In frustration and mourning
The sidewalk filled with students again
Walking toward me and past
And as I looked into each one’s eyes
I saw no glimmer of recognition
Of what had taken place here today
And my heart broke
But this is not about me
Sunday, January 3, 2016
No Mistakes (Revised)
NO MISTAKES
How many mistakes can you make?
Can you make everything go wrong?
The pretty yellow black-eyed susans
Should have warned me from the beginning
I thought I had taken the lemons given me and made lemonade
On the tail end of the breakdown
I was coming out on the other side and would be victorious.....
That's what I thought - I think I remember it that way
How many mistakes can you make?
Can you make everything go wrong?
We moved into that trailer in triumph
The kitchen had been ripped out and paint stained the carpet
But the paint was fresh and the carpet was new
There were yellow flowers all around in the field
And the edge of the woods where we moved it
The walls were white and a dryer lay
On its side in the laundry room- it worked
At first the friends were helpful - they came and things got fixed
And it was going to get better
I should have known better then to get hopeful
How cold can you get?
How many things can go wrong?
The fall was winding down and the winter would come
The dealer told me 100 gallons of propane would last the winter
Could anyone predict that the tank would be empty in only a month?
We had never lived that way before
Without heat, in a tin can in the middle of a barren field
We didn't know how. We made mistakes. I made mistakes
Three of us shivering under a mountain of blankets
The cat and the dog put away their differences for a place in the bed
I'm not sure how we made it through - I messed that up pretty good
It was so cold and I did it all wrong
But we made it through to the other side of that winter
And we were OK - and things looked like they would get better
How hot can you get?
How many things can go wrong?
As the spring faded my hope died in the blistering heat
in the middle of a barren field
They cut down all the forest and left just ruts in the mud
I had made a plan - I bought the land, I did the work
I didn't know how many mistakes - I could make again
How hot can you get? Can you make everything go wrong?
To get money to move the trailer, I sold the car
It didn't matter, I said because we'd be in town
That's what I thought
He said 6 weeks.... but then he said 6 more
I couldn't make it that far and the money got spent
Spent on living and we just got stuck
The only thing that saved us that summer was the water
Thank god there was a well
We could live under the stream of spray of the cold clear water
And the friends sneered and looked at our tans
And said we looked like we had a great summer
How lost can you get?
How many things can go wrong?
The summer finished and the fall came and someone made the call
The electricity on again and the social workers finally came
I didn't have to to tell them - I didn't have to ask for help!
They turned to leave but I needed help, wanted help
I asked for help from snakes who smile and hiss and slither
How lost can you get?
Can you make everything go wrong?
They told me they would help - sent workers to help
And the friends dropped us off at night in the dark
We all worked together and that's how it seemed at first - like help
I trusted and I prayed - I smiled and the kids played
And the air got colder but I got smarter
We had a heater this time, kerosene
Light to read by in the cozy evenings
We could make a meal and heat a room. But I didn't have a car
And we were stuck there in that damned bare field
With no way to escape and no help
When the snakes came and stole my kids
How many mistakes can you make?
How many things can go wrong?
As you wait and pray and follow the rules
And the friends won't stand up for you in court
I fought and played their games
I slept on strangers couches to make it
And I watched the light fade from my babies eyes
How many mistakes can you make?
Can you make everything go wrong?
As the last of my health was fading away
I did find one last push - the strength tell a good lie - and won
I played their game and I threw away a dream and a future to win
But I got played and I lost my trailer, my land and my health
My kids came home and the light was gone from their eyes
How many mistakes can you make?
Can you make everything go wrong?
The pretty yellow black-eyed susans
Should have warned me from the beginning
I thought I had taken the lemons given me and made lemonade
On the tail end of the breakdown
I was coming out on the other side and would be victorious.....
That's what I thought - I think I remember it that way
How many mistakes can you make?
Can you make everything go wrong?
We moved into that trailer in triumph
The kitchen had been ripped out and paint stained the carpet
But the paint was fresh and the carpet was new
There were yellow flowers all around in the field
And the edge of the woods where we moved it
The walls were white and a dryer lay
On its side in the laundry room- it worked
At first the friends were helpful - they came and things got fixed
And it was going to get better
I should have known better then to get hopeful
How cold can you get?
How many things can go wrong?
The fall was winding down and the winter would come
The dealer told me 100 gallons of propane would last the winter
Could anyone predict that the tank would be empty in only a month?
We had never lived that way before
Without heat, in a tin can in the middle of a barren field
We didn't know how. We made mistakes. I made mistakes
Three of us shivering under a mountain of blankets
The cat and the dog put away their differences for a place in the bed
I'm not sure how we made it through - I messed that up pretty good
It was so cold and I did it all wrong
But we made it through to the other side of that winter
And we were OK - and things looked like they would get better
How hot can you get?
How many things can go wrong?
As the spring faded my hope died in the blistering heat
in the middle of a barren field
They cut down all the forest and left just ruts in the mud
I had made a plan - I bought the land, I did the work
I didn't know how many mistakes - I could make again
How hot can you get? Can you make everything go wrong?
To get money to move the trailer, I sold the car
It didn't matter, I said because we'd be in town
That's what I thought
He said 6 weeks.... but then he said 6 more
I couldn't make it that far and the money got spent
Spent on living and we just got stuck
The only thing that saved us that summer was the water
Thank god there was a well
We could live under the stream of spray of the cold clear water
And the friends sneered and looked at our tans
And said we looked like we had a great summer
How lost can you get?
How many things can go wrong?
The summer finished and the fall came and someone made the call
The electricity on again and the social workers finally came
I didn't have to to tell them - I didn't have to ask for help!
They turned to leave but I needed help, wanted help
I asked for help from snakes who smile and hiss and slither
How lost can you get?
Can you make everything go wrong?
They told me they would help - sent workers to help
And the friends dropped us off at night in the dark
We all worked together and that's how it seemed at first - like help
I trusted and I prayed - I smiled and the kids played
And the air got colder but I got smarter
We had a heater this time, kerosene
Light to read by in the cozy evenings
We could make a meal and heat a room. But I didn't have a car
And we were stuck there in that damned bare field
With no way to escape and no help
When the snakes came and stole my kids
How many mistakes can you make?
How many things can go wrong?
As you wait and pray and follow the rules
And the friends won't stand up for you in court
I fought and played their games
I slept on strangers couches to make it
And I watched the light fade from my babies eyes
How many mistakes can you make?
Can you make everything go wrong?
As the last of my health was fading away
I did find one last push - the strength tell a good lie - and won
I played their game and I threw away a dream and a future to win
But I got played and I lost my trailer, my land and my health
My kids came home and the light was gone from their eyes
Saturday, December 19, 2015
Giant Windows
When I think of you
It's always in a sun soaked
living room
with giant windows and
whitewashed walls
we're laughing and shouting
because we're working on a new song
We never had a living room like that
But we have written songs
Just like that
I think its my hope for the future
That I'm thinking of when I imagine that room
But I don't care if we live in a cave
If you'd just write with me again
It's always in a sun soaked
living room
with giant windows and
whitewashed walls
we're laughing and shouting
because we're working on a new song
We never had a living room like that
But we have written songs
Just like that
I think its my hope for the future
That I'm thinking of when I imagine that room
But I don't care if we live in a cave
If you'd just write with me again
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