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Puzzle me sweetly

I'm searching for the key

Lonely furrows are the seams of my brow

Puzzle me neatly 

The truth hidden in a smile

Giant Windows

When I think of you
It's always in a sun soaked
living room
with giant windows and
whitewashed walls
we're laughing and shouting
because we're working on a new song
We never had a living room like that
But we have written songs
Just like that
I think its my hope for the future
That I'm thinking of when I imagine that room
But I don't care if we live in a cave
If you'd just write with me again

Victoria is my Name

I was born Victoria Lee Stewart in January
In a small retirement community a full week into the new year
Yet I was the New Years baby

I once asked my mother who I was named for
A queen perhaps, or a far away city?
"No" she said, "I just thought the name is beautiful- you are beautiful"

But she didn't call me that beautiful name, instead she called me Vickie
She spelled it in a different way then most
with the "ie" on the end instead of a "y"
Nobody ever got it right

It rhymed with all manner of unpleasant names
Which I suffered throughout elementary school

Vickie, Dickie, Sicky, lickie, Mickie, picky... icky

Finally I had the chance to re-brand myself
A move to a new state when I was nearly 12
Now I was Tori...
No longer gangly, and awkward, with buck teeth, and stick out ears
I was tan and tall and pretty and I was "The girl from California"

And Tori didn't rhyme with anything gross

The move was no good for a girl with no self-esteem however, instead it proved to be a disaster that set me on a path of self loathing and self destruction

Suddenly attractive to boys and with out compass or sanctuary
I became victim to the whim and desires of others
Mississippi holds no fond memories for me
I cringe at the thought of meeting someone who knew me then

Leaving Mississippi behind did not remove its shadow from my heart
The shadow cold and lonely followed me thru Arkansas, Okinawa, New York, Connecticut and back to Arkansas again and Wisconsin and Florida and Arkansas again, and again to Arkansas

The dark times were dismal with this shadow overhead, no light could penetrate. Anguished nights spent screaming into the dark,
Cicadas roar covered the sound with no purchase found in those days

Years passed until I finally made another move
To a new place inside myself.
I decided to grow into me
I know it sounds too simple but that was just what I did
I left behind the old shadow, the shame and solitude
I changed from the inside out, my food, my outlook
I nourished myself in ways that have nothing to do with my address

I am Victoria now and forever
I am beautiful and free

This Little Girl by Victoria Meyers (7 of 30)

This little girl, she had it all
This little girl, set herself up to fall
This little girl, she thinks life's hard
This little girl, wants to draw a brand new card

Who am I to tell her she's wrong?
What makes me so special?
Do I really know she's gonna throw it all away?

Oh yeah. Oh yeah, I do

Once I was this little girl, but I had nothing much
One I was this little girl, seeking a man's touch
Once I was this little girl but life didn't give me hope
Once I was this little girl till I ended up at the end of my rope

Who am I to tell her she's wrong?
What makes me so special?
Do I really know she's gonna throw it all away?

Oh yeah, I do. Oh yeah, I do

Please little girl, turn back from your ways
Please little girl, you don't have to hurt all your days
Please little girl, we all just want to see you smile
Please little girl, please little girl
I just want to see you smile

~This Little Girl by Victoria Meyers